


Under Pressure

by queensmercury



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Friendship, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-08-27 19:49:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16708927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queensmercury/pseuds/queensmercury
Summary: All four members of Queen teach John Deacon’s cousin more about life than anyone else ever will. (A story about lifelong friendships.)





	1. Chapter 1

Fall, 1974  
“‘Spose Mary and Cara hit it off? They were supposed to be here an hour ago.” John was strumming on his bass guitar in a mindless fashion.  
“Mary phoned before they left the airport and said that Cara wanted a new outfit for tonight’s gig.” Freddie was lying on the couch upside down, his feet straight up in the air as he applied eyeliner to his face while he looked into a compact mirror. Mary had taught him how to put it on, but he was now even better at it than she was. Freddie liked to remind her of that.  
“Haven’t seen her since she and I were kids. It’d be nice to see her before the show.” John mumbled, letting out a sharp breath.  
“Once we begin our next tour of the states we can invite her to a few of the shows.” Freddie threw the eyeliner and the compact onto the couch cushion next to him before moving into an upright position.  
“If.” John felt the need to be a bit realistic.  
“When.” Freddie’s voice, which had taken on a less playful tone, was accompanied by Brian’s, who had just gotten out of the shower.  
“I’ve also noticed that you’ve avoided describing your cousin as a female in front of Rog.” Brian smirked. A white towel clung to his waist as he dug through what was supposed to be his underwear drawer, but it had turned into a sea of condom wrappers and other articles of clothing that belonged in the drawers below. Roger was the messiest of them all, guess it has rubbed off on Brian in the few weeks that’s they’d all been living together on the bus.  
“Most certainly have not.” Deaky sat up defensively, gripping his instrument a bit tighter. His two bandmates just looked at him. “Okay, I have. And I’m hoping that he gets here before she does so we can have a little conversation about.. I dunno, boundaries?”  
“Roger’s never heard of boundaries.” Brian shook his head just as the trailer’s door was opening.  
“I heard my name.” Was all the Roger said as he flopped onto the couch next to Freddie. Roger looked around expectantly. “Well.”  
“Deaky has something he wants to tell you.” Brian said as he slipped into a pair of loose fitting boxers then pulling a plain white T-shirt over his head. John gave him a dirty look.  
“It’s nothing.” John, as usual, tried to avoid any possible confrontation. Even if it mattered to him.  
“It’s not nothing. It’s that he doesn’t want you to try and shag his hot American cousin who’s coming to the show tonight.” Freddie shrugged before getting up and climbing onto his bunk to grab a pack of cigarettes.  
“Never thought much of Americans or America. So, whatever you say, mate.” Roger pinched John’s cheek before heading into the bathroom.  
“See, a little confrontation can help get you exactly what you want.” Freddie remarked, smirking as he climbed off of his bed.  
“We’ll see.” Was all John said in response. Being bold usually did Freddie favors, but it didn’t work for John, most of the time. He felt maybe he just wasn’t meant to be bold the way the rest of his bandmates were.  
Mary’s distinct laugh had come into play about three minutes later. Two feminine sounding voices were then chatting excitedly within earshot of the men on the bus.  
The trailer’s door opened again, first revealing Mary, then Cara. The American girl ran up to John, squealing as she threw her arms around him.  
“Johnny boy, you look so different.” She grabbed ahold of his face and made him look straight into her honey-colored eyes.  
“I suppose I should, given you haven’t seen me in person since we were twelve.” John finally returned the hug. Deaky’s bandmates began to snicker. He pulled away from his cousin’s embrace.  
“What is it?” He eyed the three.  
“Oh, nothing. Johnny boy.” Brian spit out before he broke out into laughter along with Freddie and Roger.  
“Just ignore them, that’s what I do. Veronica and I are going to take you to dinner before the show starts.” Cara opened her mouth to show her eagerness for the opportunity to spend time with her cousin and the girl that he’d been telling her all about during their weekly phone calls. He wasn’t someone who usually talked about the girls he was interested in and he just wouldn’t shut up about Veronica. Cara thought that she must be something special.  
“Um, woah, woah. You said we were gonna go through the entire set before the show tonight.” Brian looked to meet John’s gaze in a serious manner.  
“Come on Bri-“ the darker haired man shook his head furiously.  
“Nope. You want us to be more serious. I’m not letting this slide because the Yankee is here. Come on, let’s go now.” Brian grabbed hold of his guitar, then kneeling down and setting it in its felt case. John rolled his eyes, but complied, knowing Brian was right.  
“Oh, Cara! Did I mention how much I appreciate America? What’s it like there? I’ve not been able to explore it.” Roger, who had exited the bathroom at this point, walked closer to where Cara stood and leaned against one of the sets of bunk beds. A collective groan was emitted from Freddie, John, and Brian.  
“Oh, good God.” Mary shook her head as she looked on at Roger.  
“You didn’t. And it’s actually a pretty interesting place to live.” Roger had moved closer to where Cara stood as she’d given her answer.  
“I’m Roger, by the way. I could show you around town before the show. London’s pretty interesting too.” Cara parted her lips that were painted a wine red color and then closed them quickly, only to part them again, finally speaking.  
“Thank you, Roger. Really. But, I was gonna ask Mary if we could grab a bite with Veronica before the show.” Cara looked to Mary, who was leaned against the trailer’s door. Mary chuckled to herself, eyeing Roger still.  
“Why, sure we can.” Mary smiled at Cara, then chuckling in Roger’s direction.  
“You know, I was going to advise you to stay away from dear old Roger, but I thought you seemed smart enough to come to that conclusion yourself. And you were. You and I- we’re gonna get on just fine Miss Cara.” Freddie gestured towards Cara with his right hand, a lit cigarette between his pointer and middle finger.  
“We’ll be the best of friends, Freddie.” Cara winked at the frontman.  
“Oh we’re definitely getting drinks with her after the show, Mary.” Freddie was sure that this girl was going to make for interesting experiences.  
“You can leave the shopping bags on the couch. We can change when we get back from dinner. John, phone Veronica and tell her to meet us at The Ivy.” Mary bent down and kissed Freddie on the mouth quickly before heading out the door, holding it open for Cara.  
“Good to see you, dear.” John pressed his cheek against Cara’s, pecking her quickly.  
“I’ll see you at the show. It’ll be wonderful. Nice to see you all!” Cara followed Mary out the door before it slammed shut.  
“Feel that?” Brian murmured.  
“Feel what?” Roger narrowed his eyes as he stared at Brian.  
“That, my friend, is rejection. I’m not quite sure if you’ve felt it before. But Miss America just rejected you. Good thing you've never thought much of Americans.” Freddie began to cackle as soon as Brian was done speaking, soon joined by John, who had a shit eating grin on his face. 

“She’s still not giving him the time of day. It’s a little hard to watch.” Mary leaned against the wall of the pub that the band had decided to go to after the show. Freddie was right next to her, finishing up his fourth beer of the night.  
“I’m not as surprised by that as I am that he’s still trying.” Mary smiled softly before looking up at Freddie.  
“History major? That’s great. That’s extraordinary.” Roger sat on the bar stool next to Cara, who was sipping at a vodka cranberry.  
“I’m not gonna be able to do much with it. Teacher? Maybe. But, if I'm not good at that, what else?” Roger hadn’t let her say anything without responding to it directly, afraid she’d try and walk away.  
“You’d make a fine professor.” Roger said before downing his eighth shot of whatever the bartender gave him.  
“And how would you know that?” Cara raised her right eyebrow, rather curious as to what kind he could possibly pull now.  
“Most professors don’t even really like what they teach. You- your eyes light up. Plus- you’d be easy to look at for hours every day.” Roger’s hand rested comfortably on Cara’s lower waist as he began to lean towards her face. Cara’s eyes widened as Roger’s eyes shut.  
“I should go see what Veronica and John are doing.” Cara quickly slid off her stool, her feet landing firmly on the wooden floor.  
“Let me take you out for a bite tomorrow afternoon?” Roger said rather boldly, even though Cara’s back was to him.  
“You’re nice, Roger. But I’m not looking to go on dates with a flirty musician that I’m not gonna see again for another four or five years after I leave next week.” Roger was someone who could usually respond smoothly, but this had him at a loss for words.  
“Wh-who says it was gonna be a date?” The blonde tried and failed to come across unbothered by what Cara had just said to him.  
“You did just try to kiss me, so I just assumed... Maybe I shouldn’t have.” She turned to look at the blonde again.  
“Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have.” Rog scoffed. Cara purses her lips, tilting her head as she stared at him for a moment before turning back around to walk in the opposite direction.  
“What’s wrong with one date? I don't want to hurt you, Cara.” Her shoulders visibly sunk downward after hearing his words.  
“I saw you all perform tonight. It’s special. You’re special. Queen is special. You’ll tour the states again sooner or later. You can take me out whenever that happens. If you even want to still.” Roger grabbed her wrist, spinning her around to look at him.  
“Promise?” He murmured the question. Cara just laughed and nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

Winter, 1975  
Soon enough, Cara was back from her visit with John and was once again going to school. She sat on her bed, studying the French Revolution for the fourth hour in a row that day.   
Cara lived in a small studio apartment about ten minutes from the school’s campus. She was rarely home, so she didn’t see why she needed a bigger space.   
It was approximately 8:06 PM when her phone line rang. She let it ring twice, hoping whoever it was that was calling would get that she didn’t really want to come to the phone right now. By the third ring’s end, she picked up.   
“Hello?” Her voice was a bit groggy as she hadn’t spoken aloud once that day.   
“Yes, hello? Cara? This is John.” Her cousin’s breathing was so heavy it almost kept her from understanding what words he was saying.   
“John, is it not 4AM your time? What’s wrong? Are you crying? Johnny boy?” John was now hyperventilating instead of just breathing rather heavily. Cara's eyes widened as she listened to his bizarre breathing.   
“It’s Veronica- she’s pregnant.” He was to the point when he finally spoke. Cara was sure that John had to be having a full blown anxiety attack at this point.   
“This is great!” Cara forced excitement into her voice, hoping it came across over the phone. John calmed down, but only slightly.   
“What?” Was all he could muster out.   
“Well, I’ve always thought that you’d make a great dad. You’re a rather level-headed person. Maybe right now's not the best example but... overall, it’s true.” It was during the communication of these words that John’s breathing had gone back to normal for the most part.  
“Really?” His voice wasn’t as shaky anymore. Cara couldn’t help but smile.   
“But her family’s Catholic! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my-“ Cara found herself rolling her eyes even though she knew that John had genuine worry crossing his mind.   
“Shut up John. Do you love her?” Cara could practically see John’s eyebrows knitting together at her question.   
“Huh?” He mumbled in response.   
“DO YOU LOVE HER?” She screamed into the phone. She heard something fall in the background of wherever John was. Probably because her yelling had startled him.   
“YES.” He screamed back at the same volume.   
“THEN MARRY HER.” Cara shot back. There was a brief silence on both ends of the phone.   
“You love her. She’s pregnant. Her parents are religious. You and I both know that you would have married her a few years down the line anyway. So marry her. Before she starts showing.” Was what she advised her cousin to do. Oddly, she began to hear him laugh. Which made her laugh a little too.   
“I’m gonna marry her. I’m gonna marry her! Well- I should probably ask first but- oh god. What if she says no? She’s gon-“ Cara broke out into a smile as she listened to him ramble before she decided to interrupt him.   
“Of course she’ll say yes. But she can only say yes if you actually ask her the damn question.” Cara giggled.   
“I can’t ask her. She’s upstairs asleep.” He quickly responded.   
“Then ask her when she wakes up.” Cara sighed at her cousin’s inherent need to overthink when he was nervous.  
“How do you know you haven’t woken her up with all the yelling and crying you just did at me?” Cara snorted.   
“I’m calling from the basement so she can’t hear me. She doesn’t need to know I’m this freaked out. She’s scared too.” Cara could hear as John swallow hard. She bit back a laugh. John was oblivious to the fact that Veronica knew just how nervous of a person he was, but she loved him anyway. She’d told Cara this back when she’d visited them in London.   
“I’m gonna get married, aren’t I Car?” John continued. Cara tucked a piece of auburn hair behind her ear as she listened to John’s question that already had a sure answer.   
“You’re gonna be a father, too.” Cara’s eyes welled up with tears as she broke out into another smile.   
“I’m gonna be a father.” John said, seemingly to himself.   
“And you’re going to be a great one. You should go to sleep now, don’t you think?” Cara waited expectantly for her cousin’s response.   
“You’ll fly out for the wedding, right? Or you’ll let me fly you out? You have to be there. Can you be there?” John’s was was softer now.   
“Yes, I can be there. Now goodnight. Or should I say good morning.” John let out a breathy laugh.   
“Good morning.”   
And the line went dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was short, but I hope it was enjoyable!


	3. Chapter 3

Winter 1975  
Veronica had said yes, of course. They decided on January for their wedding. It was Freddie and John who had scrounged up the money so Cara could come to the wedding. Spring semester had just started and all of her money had gone to books and classes.   
Cara stood outside of the London airport, waiting for Mary to pick her up in the same spot that she’d picked her up the last time she’d come to London.   
It was a different kind of cold in London than in America and it was worse now than it had been the first time Cara had come to visit, in the snow. She didn’t think any amount of layers could fix this level of freezing.   
“Cara!” She jumped as she heard her name being called from in front of her. It wasn’t Mary like she’d said it would be.   
“Roger Taylor, is that you?” Cara tilted her head and looked into the car. His hair was different from when they’d met the year before. He had the same cute smile, though. She’d noticed it when they’d met, but she hadn’t told him. She’d thought he’d been too full of himself already.   
Roger exited his vehicle and walked at a brisk pace over to the young brunette woman.   
“That’d be me. I’ve got this.” Roger went to grab her duffle that was resting on her right shoulder and the suitcase that stood next to her.   
“Oh- well, thank you.” By the time the words left her lips, he was already heading back to the car with her things and loading it all into the trunk. After slamming the trunk shut, he went and opened the passenger door for Cara.  
“Oh, I almost forgot that England drives on the wrong side of the road.” Cara licked her lip as she held back a smile. Roger looked up quickly and defensively.   
“I hope you’re joking. You Americans think you have it all figured out.” He shook his head as Cara buckled herself in. He shut her door for her before quickly making his way over to the driver’s side.   
“I thought you were interested in America and American’s way of life.” Cara countered as Roger started the car. He looked over to her.   
“I lied.” He shrugged before zooming over to the airport’s exit.   
“Just as manipulative as I thought you were.” She mumbled, shaking her head as she looked out the window and up into a cloud-ridden sky.   
“Pardon?” Roger cleared his throat during the brief silence. “Don’t think I forgot about the date you promised me.” She looked over at him, quickly interjecting and wiping the smug look right off of Roger's face.   
“And don’t think I forgot that I promised you that date next time you came to America. We’re in England.” Roger rolled his eyes as he rested one of his hands on the steering wheel.   
“Don’t you want a date to the wedding?” Roger pressed. Cara knew that if she was firm with him and told him it was absolutely never going to happen, he’d probably leave her alone eventually. But she liked the little game they had going on.   
“I think I can hold my own.” Rain started to hit the windows of the car. Roger’s smile wasn’t exactly deniable and he knew it.   
“Oh, I know you can, love. But if you’d just let me take you to this damn wedding-“ Cara took in a sharp breath.   
“Okay.” She said simply.   
“Okay?” He shot back, he still had a defensive tone of voice.   
“Fine then I won’t-“ Cara started.   
“No, no. I like that answer. Keep it.” Roger smiled the rest of the car ride, ear to ear. 

“So you leave? Just like that? And you won’t even take my number. Bloody ridiculous! I won’t have it. Nope. I won’t.” Mary and Veronica had their ears pressed to the hotel room’s wall. So did Brian. In the next room, Roger sounded like he was going to have a nervous breakdown. Cara, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber it seemed.   
“I have a life in a different country. I have classes that I’ve paid for that I’ve missed all week. I need to go back.” There was a lull of silence, all the trio could hear were their own breathing patterns.   
“But do you want to go back is the question. I don’t think you do!” Roger’s voice had gotten progressively louder for the last half hour. Cara’s tone and volume had stayed all but the same.   
“Yes Roger, I do want an education. How else am I going to make a living?” Cara’s words, along with no sense of emotion in her voice was driving Brian mad. He could only imagine how it was making Roger feel.   
“Come on tour with us.” The blonde’s voice had gotten lower when he said this. Veronica thought that it was because he had to know it was a ridiculous request.   
“Oh, now you and I both know that you’re being flat out unrealistic.” Brian dropped his glass that he’d been pressing to the wall when he noticed that John and Freddie had walked into the room.   
“What are you imbeciles doing?” Freddie scanned the three. They all fumbled over their words for a few moments.   
“Roger wants Cara to stay in London.” Brian was the first to get his thoughts in order.   
“I want her around.” Veronica slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor.   
“That’s rubbish, Veronica. She needs to finish her schooling.” Mary, always the sensible one, interjected. She plopped down onto the floor next to her friend.  
“Everyone shut up. They’re talking again.” Brian grabbed his cup off the side table and pressed it to the wall once more.   
“I didn’t really take you for the gossiping type, Brian. What exactly-“ Mary, Veronica, and Brian all turned to John and at the very same time, told him to shut up.   
By this time, Freddie had already grabbed his own glass and was participating in the eavesdropping.   
Veronica grabbed this last glass off of the mini bar and handed it to John, gesturing for him to join. He shook his head in disappointment but fulfilled her request.   
“Roger, this has nothing to do with how much I like you. It has everything to do with sensibility. I can’t give up school.” Cara was losing the even tone that she’d held for so long, everyone on the other side of the wall could tell.   
“Sensible? We’re talking sensibility? Tell me, was it sensible to shag in the bathroom at the rehearsal dinner? Or at the restaurant two hours ago?” Roger’s way of speaking was getting more aggressive, the way it did when he was emotional, or when he knew he was right. Maybe it was both this time.   
“I knew it!” Freddie whispered excitedly at Mary before he burst into a fit of laughter.   
“They did the deed at the rehearsal? They’ve been doing it.. this whole time?” John’s ears burned as the words left his mouth. He looked around the room for a reaction from anyone.   
“They’ve spent every waking hour together since she got off the plane. So, yes love, Roger’s been shagging Cara.” Veronica explained, resting her hand on his upper arm. John didn’t like this answer, though he knew it made sense.   
“Everyone shut up.” Was all Brian said as he kept up listening to the combative duo in the other room.   
“If it’s sex that you want-“ Cara couldn’t finish before Roger was cutting her sentence off.   
“That’s not what I’m saying and you know it. You feel exactly what I feel and you’re not willing to give it a go.” His words were firm as if he knew that these were the words that she needed to hear to make her come to some sort of realization. She didn’t say anything.  
“You’re just scared. That’s it, you’re scared! Yes. But you don’t need to be.” There was a silence on both sides of the wall again, everyone anticipating what Cara might say next.   
“Do you love me?” She asked. Everyone moved away from their cups and the wall, looking around at each other.   
“Is she crazy? It’s been a bloody week!” Brian scrunched his face up in confusion.   
“That must be her point, you idiot!” John shook his head before going back to listening like everyone else already had.   
“What?” Roger’s voice was now so low they could barely hear him.   
“Can you honestly tell me that you love me?” She questioned again.   
“I really, really like you.” Roger sounded like he had a frog stuck in his throat. That was how he sounded when he was about to cry.   
“Yeah, that’ll keep her here Rog.” Freddie rolled his eyes. Nobody felt the need to respond.  
“And I really, really like you too. And I’m excited to see you again, whenever that is. But I have a life, and you have a life. And they just don’t go together, at least for right now. Okay?” Cara was still trying to be sensible, but her voice was shaky now.   
“Not okay. Take a semester off.” Roger was still trying. Everyone on the other side had to give him credit for that.   
“What happens when you get tired of me in a week? I’ll have lost a perfectly good apartment and a semester’s worth of money. And for what? To see how long a fling could last? No.” Another silence occurred.   
“I hope he talks her into it. She’s been a good partner in crime at all the clubs.” Freddie said, a hint of a smile wavering on his face. It was true. When she hadn’t been with Roger or John, she’d spent her time with Freddie. They’d got on just as well as they’d both expected to the first time they’d met.   
“That's selfish, Freddie. She needs to think about her future. She needs to finish university. Then she can have fun.” Mary responded, shaking her head at Freddie.  
“You’re such a bore sometimes.” He huffed before silence fell over the room again.   
“Is it that hard to believe that I could never be bored of you?” Roger mumbled the question.   
“I think you have more rowdy years in you. Get it all out of your system, then settle down. That’s my advice to you.” The five listened carefully and heard her zip what was probably her suitcase.   
“I don’t want to hurt you. Give it a chance. That’s all I’m asking of you.” He was sniffling now. He was begging her to stay. He'd never had to beg a girl to do anything. His bandmates and the girls all knew that much.  
“You don’t let up, do you?” She signed, the springs on the bed could be heard as she laid back, letting out a tired breath.   
“Nope. Let’s go to the airport early and we can grab a bite. We’ll.. this will work. Now, come here.” There was a more prolonged silence this time.   
“They’re probably hugging.” John said as he took his glass away from the wall, standing up. Everyone felt relieved with how the conversation was seemingly ending.  
“The lot of you can come in and say goodbye to her now.” Was shouted by Roger, loud enough for the group to hear him without their glasses on the wall.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if anyone is really liking this story. But I've enjoyed writing it. If you are liking it thus far, let me know your thoughts in a comment, if you're willing. This chapter may not be what you all had in mind after reading the previous chapter, but this is how I always planned on doing it. Hope it is enjoyable either way!

Summer 1976  
It was July, and John and Veronica had said that they wanted to bring baby Robert to America so he could visit Cara. This turned into Freddie wanting to see Cara. Which made Mary feel like she should be able to visit her. Which had only made Brian and his new wife Chrissie feel left out. And that left Roger. So Cara decided to invite him too.   
Cara thought of herself as a mature person. So she thought everything would likely be okay.   
“Surely someday you’d like to be a mum, Cara? Robert just adores you.” Chrissie grabbed for the little baby’s hand as Cara continued to burp him the way she had been for the last five minutes.   
“Yes. When the time comes.” She responded. Roger stood in a corner of the studio apartment, observing all of the women that sat together on the couch.   
In another corner of the room, Freddie was talking on the phone with someone. It seemed the person on the other end of the line was asking all the questions, as Freddie's answers were always along the lines of 'mhm, yes, uh huh'  
“He’s talking to Paul. He calls to check up on the band a lot.” Mary looked in her boyfriend’s direction as he laughed at whatever Paul was saying.   
“I met him I think. Is he blonde?” Cara rubbed comforting circles on Robert’s back.   
“We all met him at the gig that you came to last year.” Veronica confirmed. No one really said anything.   
“So Cara, have you met anyone of interest?” Veronica continued as she rested her head next to Cara’s shoulder, right next to where her baby son’s head lay. He was practically asleep now.   
“Well, I did go on a date the night before you all came to town if I’m honest.” All of the girls suddenly sat up straighter and looked to their friend.   
“Who is he? What does he do?” Mary rested her hands on Cara’s knee as she waited for her answer.   
“He.. he’s my English professor.” The girls gasped in unison, then squealed.   
“How old is he, Cara?!” Chrissie giggled while asking her question.   
“He’s 34.” Cara looked around for their reactions. She thought she should tell them, given she had some fun on the date. But she didn’t know how they’d react to a bit of an age difference.   
“Oh, that’s not too bad.” Mary smiled at her supportively.   
“I don’t think so either. And he’s really witty and smart.” The group of women was startled to hear the apartment door slam shut. Veronica was the first to notice that Roger had left his spot in the corner of the room.   
“Who cares if he’s mad. You’re happy.” Veronica said, her speech rapid. Cara just shrugged as she continued rubbing the baby’s back. He’d begun to cry at the aggressive way the door had been closed.  
“I have a hard time looking him in the face. I didn’t think it would be this hard.” Baby Robert had calmed down in Cara’s arms and if she was honest, he was the only thing keeping her from sinking into a puddle of her own tears and helplessness.   
“He hurt you, Car. It’s okay to say that.” Mary mumbled, pushing a few strands of her friend’s hair out of her face. The other two women nodded.   
“Yankee, you want to come with me to pick up some dinner for everyone?” Brian, who had been in the bathroom, was now standing in the small kitchen area. Cara turned her head in his direction slightly. She nodded at him. She then handed Robert to Veronica before standing up from the couch.   
“It’ll get better. I really think so.” Veronica’s smile was a bit sad as she watched Cara meet Brian at the apartment’s front door, walking out with him.   
Brian and Cara walked down the stairs together in silence.   
When they reached the lobby area, out the glass door, Roger could be seen smoking his cigarette in a frantic manner near a set of patio furniture that was set up for all those who lived in the apartment building to lounge in. Roger looked like he could do just about anything but lounge and relax, though.  
“Come on then.” Brian encouraged, pushing her towards the door gently. She complied, walking out the door with her eyes glued to the sidewalk.   
“You can’t even look at me?” Roger called at her rather loudly. Cara inhaled sharply, a tactic to keep tears from falling from her eyes.   
“Keep walking. Deal with it later.” Brian advised. Brian was someone who Cara felt was a reasonable person. She knew he was probably right. So she did that. She kept walking.   
Cara and Brian had decided on ordering Chinese food from the place two blocks away. They decided it wouldn’t hurt to walk there instead of taking a taxi.   
When they got back with the food, they could hear the lively group of people from outside the apartment. And when the opened the door, they found that the coffee table had been moved to the side of the room and Roger and Freddie were roughhousing in the middle of the room.   
When John had let Cara come to watch them record back when she had come to England to see them for the first time, it had been made clear that Freddie and Roger were the ones that goofed off the most, though they all did their fair share of work and play. Their interactions were fun to watch, she had to admit, even with her current situation with Roger.   
“We haven’t broken anything yet, my darling.” Freddie winked before doing a somersault across the carpet.   
“I really have missed you, Freddie.” Cara tucked her brown hair behind her ear. She’d recently chopped most of it off. One of those ‘everything’s going wrong, so I need a change’ moments. The girls had said they loved it. The only one of the guys to really comment was Freddie and he’d said ‘change is good my dear. However, you still need to get fucked. I can tell.’ Cara had just shaken her head at his cheeky words, though he wasn’t exactly wrong.   
“And I’ve missed you. Now, if you don’t mind, it’s time for us to get rip-roaring drunk.” Freddie took Cara's hand, leading her to the kitchenette before beginning to dig through her cabinets, searching for alcohol.   
“So just screw the take away we went and got?” Brian released a deep sigh, shaking his head as Freddie began to pour shots for everyone. 

About three hours later, after she had twelve shots of vodka and two boxes of Chinese food in her, Cara found herself cleaning up. Everyone else had fallen asleep, promising they’d clean up the shithole in the morning. But Cara wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing how horrible her place looked. So here she was, at 1AM, cleaning.   
“Need help moving the table?” She heard from the short hallway that simply had a hall closet and a bathroom at the end of it. She looked up to see Roger. He wasn’t nearly as drunk as everyone else, surprisingly. Though he’d acted as if he had been.   
“Yes. Thank you.” She tore her eyes away from him as she walked over to the table that had been moved from its original spot hours before.   
“Ah, you’re speaking to me now.” He lifted one side of the table as she lifted the other. Cara rolled her eyes.   
“I wasn’t ignoring you.” She tried.   
“That’s a crock of shit.” Both of their voices were small as they conversed, considering everyone was asleep on the couch, in Cara’s bed, or somewhere on the floor.   
“I’m sorry.” He said after she didn’t respond to his previous statement. She finally looked at him again. His blue eyes had a sad and hopeless look to them. Not emotions she was used to seeing from him.   
“You’ve told me that about one hundred times. And I tell you that you’re forgiven. Every time.” She walked over to her small kitchen table, sitting down in one of the chairs. He followed.   
“I don’t think you’ve really forgiven me.” Roger meant what he said as he drummed his fingers against the wooden table nervously.   
“I have. But it’s gonna be different.” Cara poked at the cold chow mein that had been left on the table with a fork. She just wanted to find something to do that didn’t involve looking him in the eye.   
“Forever?” He went to grab her hand and instinctively, she pulled away before he could touch her.   
“For a while.” She crossed her arms over her chest and observed the crew of sleeping people.   
“I think I’m in love with you.” Roger’s words made Cara groan. She shoved the leftover food away from her, burying her face in her hands. No matter what, Cara was sure their relationship wouldn’t have lasted by any means. He stressed her out too much.   
“You fucked every girl that wasn’t me the whole time we were together and you expect me to believe that you’re in love me, even now?” Cara couldn’t help it anymore. Her eyes welled up with tears and she wiped them away as quickly as they spilled downward.   
“Deaky socked me in the mouth when Brian told him what I’d... been doing. Can you believe it? Deaky hit someone. Mary didn’t talk to me for a week. Freddie didn’t act like Freddie around me up until about three days ago. But seeing you cry, this has to be the worst to come of this whole thing.” He reached for her hand and this time she didn’t pull away.   
“I told you that you weren’t ready to be with one person. Didn’t I?” Cara pointed out. That much was true. Before they’d started dating, even after she’d pointed this out, Roger had said he could say no to all the women that would inevitably approach him when Cara wasn’t around while he was on tour.   
“I never slept with any of them more than once.” Cara’s jaw was practically on the table when Roger said this. She looked at the table again and found a half drank shot of tequila. She gulped it down.  
“Hey, Hey! I meant it as a good thing! It was always you. Never any of them. It sounds stupid but I really was just looking for someone to fuck. You’re different than everyone else. You’ll always be different than everyone else.” Roger didn’t know if he’d sabotaged the relationship on purpose or not. Maybe he just wasn’t capable of being monogamous. Cara, if anything, was a step in a different direction for Roger though. He’d never even considered being in a real relationship before he met her. He’d found a girl who made him have the desire to be less self-indulgent because he wanted her to be happy. He’d ultimately failed, and gave in to his familiar way of self-indulgence, repeatedly. But, it was a start of something different for him. So there would always be that.   
“You’re different than any other guy I ever dated, Rog. You’re special. But I need to be with someone who can keep it in their pants, even when I’m not around. For my own sake and sanity.” Roger had perked up immensely when she’d first started talking. By the end, he was shrunk down in the chair he’d sat down in, embarrassed and ashamed.   
“I’ll never hurt you again. I swear.” Roger didn’t really know what else he could say to her. But he meant what he said right then. He meant it when he said that he loved her, too. He decided he’d have to put those feelings aside to avoid emotionally confusing her even more than he already had.   
“I won’t let you.” She looked up at him and made him lock eyes with her as she shook her head. This was when he knew it was really over between him and her.   
Roger had thought that maybe he could coax her into being with him again. That he could make her feel okay around him again. He thought it’d be good for him to try the loyal boyfriend role one more time. He usually got what he wanted. Even Cara gave in at one point. He knew then that she wouldn’t give in again though. He had to be alright with that.   
“Will you be my friend?” He offered a hint of a smile.   
“Yeah, I’ll be your friend.” With that, Cara got up from her chair. Roger did the same before wrapping her in a tight embrace. They stood like that for a minute or two. Cara pulled away first. Roger didn’t know if he ever would have if she hadn’t.  
“Goodnight.” She kissed his cheek and then wandered over to her bed. Freddie and Mary were sprawled out on it but there was enough room at the foot of the bed for her to sleep comfortably enough for a few hours. If asked, everyone who was asleep in her apartment would have said that if Cara could, she’d go back and stick to her guns, never giving Roger the time of day. Roger may have said the same.   
But the truth was, she wouldn’t have done anything differently. She’d learned to love him. And deep down, she knew he loved her back, in his own way. That was enough to make all the bullshit worth it. Thanks to Roger Taylor, Cara could say she'd fallen in love with someone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter helps show that this story is more about friendship than romance or anything else. I'd say this is a pretty emotional chapter. I hope it's enjoyable.

Summer 1976  
It was late August now. Cara was still dating her former English professor. His name was Daniel and he was a handsome guy. He had brown curly hair and green eyes. Standing at 6’3, he towered over Cara’s 5’4 stature. He was beyond funny and generous. And he was probably the only person who could have kept Cara from going through a toxic on again off again relationship with Roger, who had been nothing short of a good friend to her since their talk in July. If she hadn’t hit it off with Daniel, she probably would have wanted to try things with Roger again, no matter how hurt she’d been by him. But now, they were just friends, the way they probably should have been in the first place.  
Cara had kept in touch with everyone. She was good at phoning people and just keeping in touch in general. On this day, after a bit of studying, she’d decided to phone Mary.   
“I was thinking of going to surprise Freddie for his birthday. He’s been telling me how much he misses being around me. He’s so nice, your fiancé.” Cara carefully sipped at a mug full of coffee that she’d prepared before dialing Mary’s phone number.   
“Yeah.. yeah I’m sure he’d love that.” Mary had been very involved in the conversation until Freddie got brought up. Then she seemed distant. Cara had tested her theory multiple times throughout the phone call to see if it really was the topic of Freddie that was seemingly making Mary uneasy. It was.  
“I hope I see you there?” Cara finally questioned her friend. The silence made Mary’s feelings even more clear. Something was undeniably wrong between her and Freddie.   
“I’m not sure that I’ll be able to make it.” Mary finally said. She was trying and failing to sound nonchalant.   
“Why wouldn’t you be there? It’s his birthday. I’m sure he wants to see you.” Cara’s words were as encouraging as she could make them. She didn’t really know what was wrong, so she didn’t exactly know how to comfort her friend.   
“I’m not so sure that he does.” Cara could hear that Mary was beginning to get choked up. This was even more serious than she’d originally thought.   
“That’s bs, Mary. That man loves you. I can see it in how he looks at you.” Cara tried, but to no avail. Mary began to cry and cry. No words, just sobs for a while. This had clearly been an ongoing issue for Mary. Which left Cara to wonder how long this had been weighing on her.   
“I don’t think it is. He doesn’t sound like he cares to talk to me on the phone anymore. I tried a letter, he didn’t send one back. And when I surprised him while they were in Scotland, he seemed more annoyed than anything else.” All of that did sound a bit worrisome to Cara, but she didn’t want to let Mary know that.   
“You guys just need to work on it. Let’s go visit him. It’ll be great, honey.” Cara was cooing into the phone at this point, as though she was comforting a child. But that’s what Mary needed at that moment.   
“I don’t think so. I think... I think you should go. And while you’re there, try and figure out what’s wrong. Then get back to me with what you find out.” Mary’s voice suddenly held a twinge of excitement. As though this was the solution she’d been waiting for.   
“Mary...” Cara sipped at her coffee again. She didn’t think this should be her business, and she didn’t want to promise that she’d have the balls to ask Freddie about his relationship. Something that certainly wasn’t her business at all.   
“Please, Cara? I need this favor.” Mary sniffled into the phone. It seemed like she was doing the most to make Cara feel bad, and it was working.   
“Oh, alright.” Cara gave in with a sigh. There was a small gasp emitted from Mary after she heard Cara’s response.   
“Oh, you’re the best, truly! I love you!” Mary really did seem like this was the only stitch of hope she had left. Which made Cara even more nervous that she’d somehow mess up her talk with Freddie.  
“I love you too. Goodnight.” Cara hung up the phone, afraid that Mary would try to have her ask certain questions if she stayed on the line for too long. 

“Yankee, what are you doing here?!” Brian was in the hotel lobby for some reason when Cara had shown up. Despite his confusion, he walked up and gave her a warm hug.   
“Veronica told me where you all would be staying. I’m here to surprise Freddie.” Brian smiled a bit at Cara’s words.   
“The lazy bloke is still in his room. You can go surprise him there. Room 341.” Cara lit up at this suggestion, grabbing hold of her suitcase again.   
“We’re all going out tonight, FYI.” Cara said as she trotted off rather quickly over to the elevator. He laughed quietly, still smiling as he realized right then just how much he really had missed his friend.   
Cara reached the third floor and was practically skipping down the halls of the hotel, paying no mind to the fact that it was 8AM and most of the guests were likely still trying to sleep. As she stopped in front of what Brian had said was Freddie’s room, she noticed the door was cracked. She took this opportunity to hopefully scare him a bit more than a knock would have and she threw the door open.   
“Happy-“ Cara’s mouth went dry before she could finish whatever she was going to announce to Freddie.   
In what was presumably Freddie’s bed was a blonde man, in the nude. After a second, Cara realized it was Paul. The only words that came to mind as Cara took in the scenario were ‘oh my god’ and those words were on repeat for a solid ten seconds as she stared at him. Paul stared back, not saying anything. She finally found it in her to look around the rest of the room, that was when she spotted Freddie, who was frozen, but it seemed he had been in the process of making some sort of tea at a small table. He had on a black robe, which was completely open for the whole world to see Freddie in all his glory.   
Cara didn’t know what came over her, but she began to scream. She screamed bloody murder, at the top of her lungs. This caused Freddie to finally move, he ran over to her and covered her mouth with both of his hands, shushing her.   
“Paul, leave.” Freddie’s voice was firm but his whole body shook furiously.   
“Don’t you think-“ Paul hadn’t moved from the bed as he was seemingly trying to reason with Freddie.   
“Get your things and BUGGER OFF. We can talk about this later.” Freddie’s voice was much softer by the time he said the second sentence. And that was when Cara realized that Paul had to be much more than someone who just helped out with the band a lot. Much more than a one night stand even. Freddie clearly knew this man quite well. Cara’s breathing pattern was all over the place as the blonde man grabbed a wadded up green polo shirt, boxers, jeans, and a pair of loafers off the floor of the hotel room before scurrying out the door. But not before bidding Cara goodbye, as well as Freddie, who he addressed as ‘my love’.  
By the time Paul was gone and Freddie had removed his hands from Cara’s mouth, she was shaking too.   
“Darling, I truly didn’t mean for you to see... all of this. It's all...” Freddie trailed off. He was trying to explain what he really hadn’t explained to himself. He was still so confused by it all.   
“You hate me now, don’t you?” He tried again. If it were even possible, Cara’s breathing became more uneven.   
“Come sit please.” Freddie finally took the time to tie his robe shut. His nudity has been the least shocking thing of the last two minutes.   
She allowed him to lead her over to a small dining table that had two matching chairs. He had to practically sit her down himself. She still didn’t say anything.   
“I didn’t know you were coming.” This was probably the worst thing Freddie could have said right then. He regretted it as soon as he said it.   
“Oh, I’m so sorry if I infringed on you and your lover boy’s time together. I’ll leave then.” By this time, Cara had gotten herself together for the most part. She wanted to get up and leave the room. Make Freddie feel even worse about what he’d done. But he looked at her with a shy, scared look in his brown eyes and she physically couldn’t move.   
“Don’t leave me alone. I’m scared, love.” With all the lies Freddie had been telling for the last year, it felt good to be overly honest.   
Cara grabbed for the pack of cigarettes and the lighter that sat on the table, quickly lighting one of them and taking a long drag, her eyes shut.   
“You don’t smoke.” Freddie commented.   
“I do right now.” Cara retorted as she coughed. Normally, Freddie would have teased her for not knowing how to smoke a cigarette properly. She was a good girl. Even though he poked fun at her for it, her goodness was one of his favorite things about her. Freddie knew it wasn’t the time to joke with her about such things, though.   
“I hope you know I’m not mad at you because you’re gay.. if that’s what you are. I don’t care who you want to fuck, Freddie.” Cara put the cigarette out in the ashtray that also sat on the table. She looked up at him before she moved over to the bed where she laid with her eyes closed. He followed her, his posture showed how freaked out he still was. He laid his head on her stomach, his eyes beginning to water. Even though Cara was beyond angry with him in that moment, and Freddie knew it, her words were all he needed. She accepted him.   
“What gets me is that we sat for hours on the phone. Weekly. You didn’t once think to tell me you were feeling... this way? Why?” Freddie was suddenly a panicking mess when she asked this. And even though it wasn't her intent, Cara’s words made Freddie suddenly want to internalize everything again. In a lot of ways, it was so much easier avoiding it all. Seeing the disappointment in Cara’s eyes was enough to want to take every night with Paul and every other man he’d ever experimented with right back.   
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed in how I’ve handled all of this.” He stared at the floral wallpaper on the hotel room wall.   
“Well, I am.” She shot back. Her simplistic sentence hurt him more than she knew.   
“Mary didn’t want to join me on this surprise visit. She thinks that you don’t love her anymore. Now I get why.” Cara continued. She ran her fingers through Freddie’s thick black hair, trying to comfort him as she knew how harsh her words probably seemed. She still thought he needed to hear all that she was saying.   
“I love Mary. She’s the love of my life.” Freddie sputtered out. Cara couldn’t really explain why, but she believed him. And she was right to. Freddie did love Mary.   
“But not in the ways a boyfriend- well, fiancé, needs to love his fiancée, right?” Freddie looked up at Cara. The constant twinkle in Freddie’s eyes had faded into a pure look of heartbreak. Which only broke Cara’s heart.   
“I love Mary.” He repeated, sitting up and sucking in a deep breath. Cara sat up too, wiping the constantly flowing tears from Freddie’s face. She tilted her head as she stared at the vulnerable man.   
“The way things have been carrying on... Even though you love her, it’s not fair to her. You know that. I know that.” He threw his arms around Cara, now crying into her neck. She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back soothingly.   
“I can’t tell her about all of this. She’ll hate me forever. I can’t live in a world where Mary Austin hates me.” Freddie was shy in person unless he really trusted someone. He was relatively reserved, even around Cara, unless they were out drinking and partying. Though he’d bared his whole entire soul to Cara over the course of her visits with him and the others, it had taken him time.   
‘I trust you.’ He’d murmured as he laid his head on Cara’s shoulder during one of her visits. They’d been sitting on the tour bus couch, talking through his childhood and what his family meant to him. His family was everything to him, whether they believed it or not.   
‘I’m glad.’ Cara had responded in a whisper, as everyone else was asleep in their bunks.   
‘You’re the best, truly. Promise me you’ll always love me, dear.’ This was the time when Cara realized that all Freddie really needed was good, authentic people in his life. It was true, he had the band and a few other people. But he wanted a few more people who’d really want to be there for him. And he deserved that much, Cara thought.   
‘Of course I’ll always love you Freddie, don’t be ridiculous.’ Cara had smiled sweetly at him.   
‘An outrageous queen like me can cause quite a stir sometimes. It can be a lot of trouble.” Freddie was playing with the tips of what was then Cara’s long auburn hair. He was a very touchy person with the people he cared for.   
‘You’re worth all the trouble in the world, Freddie Mercury.’ To this, he couldn’t help but smile.   
‘You mean it?’ Cara had only felt the need to nod. Freddie then sang himself to sleep, laying down across Cara’s legs. Before falling asleep with him, she stared at his face for a while. He was stunning, of course. Everyone knew how beautiful he was. But not everyone knew how scared he was. She thought to herself that if he let the wrong people in, it would end badly. He was someone who would be easy to exploit, given how badly he wanted to feel loved. She was worried for him.   
And now, she was even more scared for him. He was the frontman for a famous rock n roll band. What would the public think of him being a homosexual? Would they turn a blind eye to the talent that was Freddie Mercury? What would Freddie do if the public abandoned him, should they find out his secret? These were all questions that had surely crossed Freddie’s mind too. Maybe that was why he turned to all the lying.   
“Mary Austin will be a friend to you for the rest of your life. You don’t need to worry about that. But someone who is as loyal and loving as she is... she deserves honesty, don’t you think?” Freddie’s bottom lip quivered, but he nodded.   
“Now, about Paul. You’ve been seeing him for a while, haven’t you?” Freddie froze like a deer in headlights. He didn’t respond for a long time. Cara crossed her arms over her chest as she continued to stare at him expectantly.   
“I didn’t want you to find out.” He laid back down on the bed. Cara laid next to him.   
“I’m sure you didn’t want anyone knowing about this.” She said in return. He shrugged his shoulders.   
“I could handle it if Brian knew. Even Roger or Deaky. Maybe even Chrissie and Veronica. Just not you.” Cara’s facial expression turned a bit sour as he said this.   
“Gee, thank you.” She slapped his arm lightly. He shook his head.   
“Not like that, my darling. I just- I see how you look at Roger differently now. I don’t ever want you to see me any differently than you always have. But now, it’s all a mess.” Cara chewed on her lip as she thought to herself for a bit. She knew she was going to be telling Freddie more about the Roger situation than she had told anyone else. But she also knew he needed to hear it.   
“Roger and I are friends now. But, I would’ve been able to forgive him sooner if I wouldn’t have found out about what he did... the way I did. Not from him.” Freddie went to hold Cara’s hands in his. She let him but she shook her head. This wasn’t about sympathy.   
“The point is, you need to tell Mary. Don’t let her found out any other way but from you. You’re going to tell her as soon as you guys get back to London.” It was suddenly obvious that Roger and Deaky were somewhere in the halls, as they were yelling about some nonsense. Cara centered her focus on Freddie again.   
“Promise me.” She demanded, her tone sharp.   
“I promise.” He said. He’d stopped crying and had gained his composure for the most part.   
“Speaking of promises, when I promised you I’d always love you, I meant it.” Cara watched the man beam at her words.   
“I love you, dear. And I’d do anything for you. You know that, don’t you?” Cara nodded before wrapping him in a tight hug. He exhaled, relieved. Anyone who had the privilege of calling Freddie Mercury their friend was lucky. Because he meant it when he said he’d do anything for those he loved.   
“Well, it’s your birthday tomorrow, isn’t it? We’re going out tonight, I already told Brian when I saw him in the lobby.” Cara saw the mischievous twinkle in Freddie’s eyes return as soon as she said this. He hopped off the bed, standing up straight.   
“Let me take you to breakfast.” He grabbed her hand and stood her up before dragging her towards the door.   
“Wait.” Cara said quickly. He turned and stared at her.   
“Not everyone’s going to accept this or.. or you. And that’s okay because I accept you. And Mary will too. And so will the band. I worry more about you accepting it all. Have you?” He chuckled.   
“I will. It’ll all be alright in the end. Don’t you think so?” She linked her arm in his and looked up at him, giving him a supportive smile, though there were tears in her eyes again.  
“I do think so.”   
All the way to breakfast, Cara tried to bring up different topics. She tried to make the most of her trip to see one of her best friends. But all Freddie could think about was the fact that she knew. She knew his secret. She knew who he was. She was one of the first to know. And she’d convinced him to break up with his Mary. For Mary's sake, but also for his sake. Mary didn’t deserve to live life not being everything that her partner needed. There was nothing Mary could do or change to be everything for Freddie. She deserved to know that.   
But, when Freddie thought about what would happen after telling Mary, he felt relieved. Like a certain part of his life could finally start.   
Maybe, if Cara hadn’t caught him in bed with Paul the way she had, Freddie would have married Mary and just stepped out on her for the rest of their lives. But that wouldn’t be fair to either of them.   
Cara convincing Freddie that admitting everything to Mary then and not thirty years from then or never telling her at all would be easier in the long run for them both was one of the best things that would ever happen to Freddie.   
Freddie and Cara talked about how his life would change forever after he told the rest of the band. They talked about how Mary could still be his soulmate, even if they weren’t meant to be romantically or sexually involved.   
Freddie saw Cara as his saving grace. One of the best things to ever happen to him. She was real with him. She didn’t walk on eggshells. She acknowledged who he truly was before he had really acknowledged it himself. She loved Freddie before Freddie really loved himself. She was the reason Freddie Mercury was willing to try and explore who he really was, who he was meant to be. Cara was one of the truest friends Freddie would ever have. He realized that. And he was beyond grateful.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel most inclined to let you all know that this chapter includes decently graphic violence and abuse. Life can be difficult and dark sometimes and Cara (an original character of mine, obviously) is no exception to this. I hope this chapter is alright with all who end up reading it. (TRIGGER WARNING: abuse, violence)

Fall 1978   
Cara had quietly married Daniel in a ceremony at the courthouse in February of that same year. They’d been living together for over a year and but he’d only proposed at the end of January.   
None of the band had been there. Not even John. They hadn’t had bridesmaids or groomsman and their parents hadn’t even been present. It was just the two of them and the officiant. That’s how Daniel wanted it. Cara didn’t mind.   
It was in July that Cara had found out that she was expecting. Daniel seemed happy and so was she. To a point.   
She’d called up all of the boys individually. John first, of course. He’d been over the moon excited for Cara, already asking if he and Veronica could bring fly out to America with their children to meet the baby a month or so after whenever Cara ended up giving birth. Cara had giggled when she heard Veronica asking if they could come sooner, if not for the birth.   
Freddie was already referring to himself as ‘Uncle Freddie’ by the end of the phone call where Cara had told him the news.   
Roger had been a bit awkward about the whole thing at first. But he seemed excited for her and asked if he could come to see the baby after it was born. Cara had told him yes, of course.   
Brian was over the moon too. It was funny, about a month before she and Daniel had gotten married, she’d flown out to visit everyone.   
‘You’re so good with the children.’ Brian had commented as he watched Cara crawl all over the floor as she entertained all of the children.   
‘I have a feeling you’ll have one of your own soon.’ He’d said. She hadn’t said anything back. But it had made her think. She did want kids before too long.   
Here she was, pregnant now. And Brian, Chrissie, John, Veronica, Freddie, and Paul, who was now Freddie's partner, had decided to come and see her while she was expecting. Chrissie and Veronica had decided that they’d throw her a baby shower during the visit.   
“I thought we’d decided on mashed potatoes.” Daniel was leaned up against the kitchen doorway. He’d grown a bit of a scruffy beard since they’d first begun dating, but other than that, he was relatively the same.   
“Baked potatoes are easier.” She slid the vegetables into the oven, closing it, then taking off the oven mitts.   
“Always the easy way out.” Daniel gritted his teeth together before taking a swig of his beer.   
“It’s 3PM, Daniel.” Cara rested against the kitchen counter, wiping her brow.   
“And what of it?” He put the beer bottle back onto the counter a little too firmly. His whole body was tense as he looked her up and down.   
“Am I interrupting anything?” Chrissie walked into the kitchen with a cheerful air to her. A stark change to the energy the other two individuals had been creating.   
“No, no. I was just leaving.” He ran a hand through his slicked back brown curls before turning and exiting the kitchen.   
“I’m not so sure he likes me much.” Chrissie laughed awkwardly. ‘I’m not so sure he likes me either’ Cara wanted to say back. She didn’t though.   
After dinner, the crew had gathered downstairs to watch some sort of nighttime soap opera. Mostly to make fun of the constant melodramatic acting, but also because there wasn’t much else on.   
“Would you just come down and visit with us? They’re my friends, love.” Cara was drying her face after washing off the day's makeup in the sink. Daniel laid in bed already, though he was sat up. The bedside lamp lit dimly as Daniel had apparently been trying to read. His glasses rested on the bridge of his nose and a book laid open on his lap. He seemed more focused on pouring himself another shot of whiskey, though.   
“Don’t try and act like you want me there. Go have fun with your friends.” He laughed, picking up the book to read it. This was his way of saying that their conversation was finished. Cara followed her instinct, which was to walk out of the room, complying with what Daniel wanted. But this time, she asked herself why she felt the need to do whatever it was that he wanted her to do. The truth was, she found it easier than the fight that came with not doing things the way that he wanted them done.   
“I saw the invitation you got to the university’s Christmas party.” He said. Cara squeezed her eyes shut. She’d meant to put that away somewhere before he’d gotten home.   
“You’re coming with me, aren’t you?” She turned back around and offered Daniel a slight smile. His squinted slightly as he laughed at her.   
“I wasn’t invited.” He said sharply. She’d known that he was going to go about it this way. It was why she’d planned on hiding the invitation in the first place.   
“Yes, you were. We’re supposed to bring our spouses.” She tried to stay cheerful. Her efforts didn’t change Daniel’s demeanor in the slightest.   
“I won’t be your trophy husband.” He’d never said it out loud, but Cara knew that he felt this way about the situation. When he’s gotten laid off at the university, it stung rather badly when Cara had gotten hired on as an assistant history professor the very next semester. He now worked at the local high school, but the whole thing still bothered him, clearly.   
“I’m not asking you to-“ she stopped as she watched him flip the blankets off of himself, chugging down the rest of the whiskey that was in his glass on the nightstand before walking over to her. Every step he took, Cara became meeker.   
“I think you find joy in this situation because it’s stolen all of my pride. That’s what I think.” She could smell the alcohol on his breath. And her own breath was losing its steadiness.   
“Why would I ever-“ he backed her into the bedroom door's trim molding, resting his arm right above her head, probably so she’d be less inclined to try and walk away from him.  
“You took that job because you knew it would hurt me. Didn’t you?” Cara swallowed hard, but she didn’t respond to his question. This apparently angered Daniel even more, as he grabbed a fistful of Cara’s auburn hair, pulling on it hard. Tears immediately sprang to Cara’s eyes. “Didn’t you?” He asked again.   
“You-You’re hurting me.” She stated the obvious has tears began to fall from her honey-colored eyes.   
“You hurt me when you took a job working for the very university that fired me. What’s the difference?” He said between his teeth. All she said at this point was ‘ow’ over and over again. She hated when he got this drunk. She hated when he got angry like this. When he’d hurt her like this.   
It didn’t last less than five more seconds after Daniel had finished berating her with his words and continued hurting her physically when Brian walked down the hallway, noticing the commotion. Daniel let go of Cara’s hair slightly, but not entirely.   
“Cara, what the hell is going on?” Brian looked between the two.   
“We-“ There was no way that Brian was going to let Daniel have any word in.   
“Never once did I address you. Yankee, what’s happening?” Cara began to whimper as tears kept filling her eyes and blurring her vision.   
“N-nothing. I’m fine.” Cara let out a shaky breath. Daniel finally pulled away from her. Causing her to let out a sigh of relief. If Brian hadn’t been sure that something terrible was going on before, he knew it that moment.   
“Go downstairs and watch your TV program.” Daniel ordered and Cara went to comply, but Brian stopped her. He grabbed both of her shoulders, making her look into his hazel eyes that let her know just how concerned he really was.   
“Since when do you listen to what others tell you to do? If something’s wrong here, you need to tell me. Please.” It clicked at that moment for Cara that this might be her only way out, if she wanted it. She was four months pregnant. She had to decide if this was the environment that she’d have her child grow up in.   
“I think it’s best you all find a hotel to stay in for the rest of your visit.” Daniel grabbed onto Cara’s wrist. He knew that she was slipping away from him as she reacted to Brian’s kind nature. And that maybe she was realizing how badly he really did treat her.   
“Great. And she’s coming with us.” Brian suddenly grabbed Cara’s other wrist, making it an official tug of war.   
“Take your hands off of my wife.” Daniel was practically growling like an animal. Brian finally yanked Cara away from him. Throwing her behind him against the banister.   
“Touch her again and see what happens, you git!” Brian shoved the older man, almost to the ground.   
“What going on here?” John had made his way up the stairs at some point and was now entering the bedroom.   
“We’re leaving. Take her to the car.” John was still confused, but he wrapped his arm around his cousin and lead her down the stairs. Freddie had apparently been heading up the stairs and when he saw his friend, shaken up the way she was, he bounded up the rest of the stairs and headed to where he heard Brian yelling.   
“What’s happening?” Freddie inquired. Brian hadn’t thrown a punch yet, but as he stared Daniel down, he was opening and closing his fists tightly. Angrily.   
“He hurt her, Freddie. I saw it. I think it’s been happening for a while now.” Freddie felt dizzy for a few moments after he heard Brian’s words. Cara? The woman who had refused to quit college to go on tour with her rock star boyfriend? The woman who had put her independence above all was being abused? Overpowered? Freddie didn’t think it was possible. Clearly, though, it was.   
"Oh, wow. Well, you listen here, sir. I have every single lawyer in the bloody world in my back pocket. I will end you.” Brian pulled Freddie out of the room, as Freddie became more hysterical with every threatening word he bellowed. “You’re gonna wish yourself dead by the time I’m finished with you.” Freddie grumbled this last warning before Brian had pulled him away entirely.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this story has little to no audience, but I enjoy writing it, so I feel the desire to continue it. This is a short yet sweet chapter. Sort of needed after the previous one, I think. Also, thank you to anyone whoever does come across this story. I hope it's been enjoyable for you.

Summer, 1979  
Cara had quit her job at the university and made the move to London to live with Mary in a house Freddie had bought so Mary could live near him. Freddie had promised that Mary and him and Paul would help take care of the baby when it came. Cara had seen Paul’s face when Freddie had promised this, he didn’t seem too thrilled.   
When Cara had first left Daniel, she’d been worried that he’d try to get custody of the baby.  
‘If you tell the courts that he hurt you, they’re not gonna give him the baby.’ Veronica had pointed out, though it was a stretch the court system always did the right thing.   
‘It’s his word against mine.” Cara’s eyes had welled up with tears.   
‘It’s not though.’ Freddie, who had been holding Cara in his embrace, lifted his head up to look at the others.   
‘Brian told me what he saw.’ Chrissie lit up with hope slightly as she grabbed her husband’s arm. Brian looked like he was thinking for a few moments before he spoke.   
‘It’s true. I saw it.’ He’d said. Brian hadn’t known how else to handle himself at that moment. He wanted to know what his friend was thinking. How this man had really made her feel.   
‘I wouldn’t ever ask you to-‘ Brian couldn’t believe that Cara was even considering the sentiment that she was relaying.   
‘You don’t have to ask. If it comes down to it. I’ll defend you. In court or out.’ Cara had sunk lower into Freddie’s chest and began to cry, her whole body shaking. No one moved. They all just stared.   
‘This baby is staying with you no matter what. Count on it, my dear.” Freddie was rubbing soothing circles on Cara’s stomach. Whenever Freddie’s voice came into play for whatever reason, the baby would kick. Probably because Cara always felt happy around Freddie. The baby would kick whenever Brian was talking too. Same with John and Mary. Everyone else had tried to get it to kick by the sound of their voices but to no avail. Chrissie had said that the baby must have already picked favorites.  
John had Miami make some calls to his colleagues that were divorce attorneys and he made sure that Cara’s split from Daniel was the definition of “a quickie divorce”. Daniel hadn’t bothered to put up much of a fight, though everyone handled the situation as if he was going to. While on tour, it was Brian and John who had called Cara every night. Freddie was a bit preoccupied with whatever Paul wanted him to do some of the time. Cara was a little worried about that whole situation.   
The baby had been born a bit early on February 25th. She was now almost four months old now and so, so beautiful. Being the Catholic Cara was, she knew she’d already messed up by getting divorced. Before her child was even born. So she felt she needed to redeem herself at least a little bit and decided that she would baptize her daughter. She waited until after Queen’s tour for the Jazz album ended, so everyone could be there.   
John flew Cara’s parents and siblings out to England without even telling her. Cara never found out that John had paid their way. He just wasn’t the person who went looking for gratitude.   
Most everyone was in the basement playing some sort of board game in Cara and Mary’s house the week before the baptism. Cara had gone upstairs to feed the baby.   
Brian had headed up from the basement for some reason. Cara never bothered to find out why.   
“Brian, I need to talk to you.” Cara was in a rocking chair with her baby girl, who was asleep.   
“What’s up, love?” He didn’t sit down, just stood where he’d stopped to look at Cara when she’d started talking to him.   
“I want you to be Madison’s Godfather.” Brian opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, but he didn’t. He ran a hand through his long curls with a strange look on his face as her request registered in his mind.   
“And Chrissie can be her Godmother.” Cara added. Brian sat in the love seat next to the rocking chair after hearing the second part.   
“I’d have thought you’d pick Freddie.” Brian said shyly. Cara knew that picking Freddie was probably expected by some people.   
“He’s perfectly content being “Uncle Freddie” but you... you were willing to go testify in court. The whole public would’ve seen you apart of this mess, should it have gone a certain way. But you were going to do it. For the sake of my daughter and her safety. I’m forever grateful. And so is she, Bri.” Cara just looked down at her daughter’s sleeping face as she spoke. Brian, again, didn’t know what to say. So he grabbed for Madison’s small hand. She instantly took hold of his pointer finger, her eyes fluttering open before she looked into Brian's eyes as she yawned.  
“Yeah, okay. I’d love to do it.” He kissed the baby’s head before releasing his finger from Madison's small grasp and getting up from the loveseat.   
“Are you crying, Brian May?” Cara smirked. He eyed Cara for a moment.   
“Shut up, Yankee.” He winked at her before walking back downstairs and into the basement, where Chrissie was. Chrissie was going to be on cloud nine when she found out she was going to be the Godmother.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was glad to read that some of you really like this story. I am trying to stay on track uploading a chapter a day but I have finals coming up. If I do fall behind, I apologize in advance. I have every intention of finishing this piece. I have truly loved writing it.

Fall, 1983  
Cara had decided it was time to move out of Mary's place and establish a life for just her and Madison, though she was eternally grateful for Mary and all her help with the baby. Freddie had decided that Madison hadn’t seen him in far too long, so he’d invited Cara and Madison to come to stay in his most lavish home yet. From phone conversations, Cara had gathered that Paul lived with Freddie. She didn’t much care for Paul, but she felt her judgement was a bit out of place given her past choice in partners. So she didn’t say too much about it. Mary wasn’t his biggest fan either though. And Roger had told Cara over the phone that he was ready to throw Paul out a window because he was always weaseling his way into band discussions. Freddie didn’t seem to notice. Or maybe he just didn’t care. Roger had said that he wasn’t sure which it was, but it bothered him either way.  
‘It’ll be grand.’ Freddie had said when he’d first brought up the idea of Cara and Madison coming to stay.  
‘We have the magnificent indoor swimming pool. Oh, and we can take her to the ballet. And we can take her on shopping sprees, I’ll buy Maddy girl whatever she wants.’ Freddie had gone on and on about all of these things. That was what bothered Cara the most though. They were all surface level things. Years ago when she’d go visit him and the rest of the band, the thing he was most excited about was ‘how we’ll get to talking into the wee hours. Our conversations our everything to me, darling.’ She couldn’t imagine him saying that at this moment though. That made her sadder than anything else.  
‘I think she’ll be more excited to spend time with her Uncle Freddie than all of that.’ Cara had said in return. She’d wanted to make him think about how he was coming across. She wanted him to be ostentatious, as he’d always been, but not necessarily materialistic.  
‘That’s fine and good. But she’s going to be spoilt rotten when she comes to stay with dear old Uncle Freddie. Oh, Paul’s home. I have to be going. Tata, my dear!’ He hadn’t waited for her to say anything back before ending the call. Cara had gone from feeling thrilled about the visit to feeling uneasy about it in a matter of two minutes. She’d decided it was still best that she went, though.  
“The other boys are coming to my party tonight, wouldn’t you know it.” Freddie said. Madison, who was just learning to swim, was paddling in her floaties back and forth between Freddie and Cara. As she made her way to him, Freddie scooped her up into his arms, causing the water to splash and Madison to giggle loudly. He kissed Madison all over her rosy cheeks.  
“Deaky told me before we came. He still calls me pretty frequently.” Cara pursed her lips and stared at Freddie. His laughing and smiling that he’d been doing with Madison faded away and he set her back in the water. Madison didn’t seem to notice the tension. She just made her way back over to her mother.  
“I’ve been busy. I’m sure Madison has you pretty busy as well.” He quipped. He didn’t mean it rude, really. He just didn’t know how else he would defend himself from something that was relatively indefensible.  
“I know you’re busy. Paul tells me every time I try to phone you.” Cara’s reaction didn’t match her harsh words as she cheered for Madison who had just then made her way over to Cara as she spoke. She flipped Madison around and sent her back Freddie’s way.  
“I’ll call more.” Freddie decided aloud. He looked up and smiled at her. He still cared for her all the same, even if his actions didn’t always show it.  
Freddie had begged Cara not to put Madison down for her nap. She reluctantly allowed this, seeing how badly Madison wanted to go to the park with Freddie.  
“She’s so grown since we last saw her.” John commented a few hours later. He and Veronica had shown up before the party so they could visit with Cara "in peace" as John had put it.  
“I’m bummed that you guys didn’t bring the kids. She’d love to see her cousins.” When Freddie had brought her back from the park, he’d insisted Madison be put in the dress he’d bought her at Liberty, a famous department store in London. Now, Cara was putting Madison’s hair in braids, like she’d asked her to.  
“Freddie’s parties aren’t exactly kid friendly. She should be fine though.” Veronica looked at Madison as she spoke to the other adults in the room.  
“You still haven’t thought about hiring a nanny?” Cara finished the second braid before resting her back against the couch.  
“No need.” Veronica said firmly. Given the traditional Catholic home that Veronica had grown up in, Cara wasn’t surprised that she wanted to do everything on her own.  
“Johnny boy’s gone all the time though. And you’re more than outnumbered. Four kids? I know I couldn’t do it.” If it was the need to be a traditional mother that was holding Veronica back from asking for help, Cara wanted to make sure that Veronica knew that there was no shame in asking for help.  
But she noticed the hurt in John’s eyes. He didn’t like being away from home all the time. He’d told Cara that in person and over the phone. But the only job he’d ever be happy doing was playing his bass. And he loved his bandmates more than they’d ever know. Nonetheless, he wanted to see his kids more. He didn’t like hearing how tired Veronica sounded on the phone when he was away for months while touring. In those moments he knew that there wasn’t much that he could do from wherever he was. And that hurt him. Veronica did seemingly everything for their family. Sure, John was the breadwinner, but really what did that count for if you didn’t see your kid take their first steps? Not much. John had begun to believe that the more he thought about it all.  
“I wish I could be home more.” John looked at his wife with eyes that were begging for forgiveness.  
Cara looked over to Madison who was now playing with Delilah, Freddie’s cat. Life was so different from ten years ago. In fact, just about nothing was the same. 

The party was outrageous. Cara had thought that Mary would come, so had Freddie. Roger said that Freddie tried to convince her to drop in every time he hosted a party, which was becoming more and more frequent. She never came.  
The kind of people that were attending this party were unlike anyone Cara had hung around. She’d be lying if she said she loved that Madison was witnessing all that these people were doing. If she’d known how out of hand things got at these parties, she probably would have hired a babysitter of some sort.  
Cara had been visiting with Roger and his wife Dominique, along with Brian and Chrissie and John and Veronica when Freddie approached them. Cara had been keeping an eye on Madison, who was on a dance floor, doing the twist with a drag queen friend of Freddie’s. She was having the time of her life.  
“Are we enjoying ourselves?” Freddie held a drink in his hand. He had a jeweled gold crown on top of his head along with a red cape of some sort to match his royal look.  
“This party is something else Fred”. Brian commented.  
“Like the rest of your parties.” Roger added. None of them seemed like they were enjoying themselves. Cara was watching the happenings of the party closely, not wanting her daughter to see certain things that Cara thought might end up happening.  
“It’s a bit different than how you explained it.” Cara mumbled. Freddie frowned in her direction.  
“What’s wrong with different?” The sass in Freddie's tone was very clear.  
“Nothing, mostly. It’s just Madison-“  
“She’s just fine, Cara. Let up a bit.” He polished off the glass of champagne and went to grab another glass off of a tray that a waiter was carrying around.  
“She can’t let up Freddie. None of us can. We’re parents.” John reasoned in an attempt to defend his cousin. Freddie scoffed at this, swallowing down the second glass of champagne.  
“‘Spose you think that being parents makes the lot of you better than me? I beg to differ.” The group became silent. And even though the room was still filled with yelling people, there was something deafening about none of them answering Freddie’s question as quickly as he’d asked it.  
“No one said that Freddie.” Roger finally said. It was now clear to Cara that this party and every party before it wasn’t for fun. Freddie felt inferior to his bandmates because of how different his lifestyle made him from them.  
Cara wanted to tell Freddie that he wasn’t anything less than them because he wasn’t married or because he didn’t have kids. She wanted to tell him that he could still do those things if he wanted to. And even if he didn’t want to, he was still worth the same as anyone else.  
“You don’t say it, but you think it. So piss off.” Freddie grabbed yet another glass of champagne from a different waiter who’d walked by, taking it down in one gulp. Cara saw a switch flip in Freddie. Like every insecurity he had was bubbling to the surface in that moment.  
“Slow down, Fred.” Brian requested. Freddie tilted his head back as he laughed loudly. Brian, who had been examining Freddie closely for a while, shook his head in disgust. “You’re high again, aren’t you?” His words made Freddie pause. Cara noticed Paul lingering behind him. Freddie seemingly noticed too. Because he went from looking as though he may have been wanting to apologize for his behavior to looking as though he thought someone owed him an apology. He was always different around Paul.  
“Freddie wouldn’t bring drugs around Maddy, isn’t that right?” In her mind, Cara was begging Freddie for this to be the case. She didn’t want to believe that he’d sunk low enough to get high in front of her three year old daughter.  
“All of you have your own set of issues. I don’t know where you get off judging me the way you all are.” Paul pulled at Freddie’s arm as he said this, trying to pry him away from the group. At the same time, Cara noticed how angered John was getting. John never got angry, so Cara knew this really must have bothered him.  
“You can’t just talk to people this way, Freddie.” Cara tried again. He glowered at her. Freddie had never really given Cara a mean look in the whole time they’d know each other unless he was being sarcastic. Freddie really wasn’t Freddie at this point.  
“I can do whatever I want.” He threw his champagne glass to the floor, making it shatter into small pieces that went into all different parts of the room.  
“Uncle Freddie, don’t yell.” Madison had apparently left the dance floor and was now tugging on Freddie’s red cape that he still wore. Freddie seemed to come back down to earth at that moment. Whatever high he’d been on was gone as he stared at Madison, who looked up at him with big honey colored eyes, the same ones her mom had, and Freddie just sighed.  
“Maddy, let’s go upstairs to bed.” Cara held her arms out and her daughter ran into them, tired as she was. Cara stood up, throwing her daughter over her shoulder.  
“Cara. Cara, I’m sorry.” Freddie called as she walked past him. Madison lifted her head from where it rested on her mom’s shoulder.  
“Goodnight Uncle Freddie. Goodnight everyone.” Madison yawned before putting her head back down. Everything about this scenario was making questions riddle Freddie’s mind.  
“Forget about it. She won’t even bring it up in the morning.” Paul tried to catch Freddie’s gaze.  
“That was a ridiculous way to behave in front of a child. What makes you so sure that Cara will just forget about it?” John was right to question Paul’s sentiment. It was obvious that something was off with Freddie and the last person to drop a situation like this would be Cara. Paul looked to see if Cara had made it all the way up the stairs. She had.  
“She’s pretty passive, isn’t she?” Paul was trying not to smirk as he said the words.  
“And you came to this realization how?” Brian prompted with his eyebrow rose. Paul chuckled under his breath.  
“Well, you see. She always forgave that ex-husband of hers when he’d smack her around. Until you all stepped in. Isn’t that right?” Roger had been trying to move closer to Paul since he'd joined the conversation. At this comment, Dominique released Roger from her grip, which allowed him to walk towards Paul, who stood in front of everyone with a completely straight face now.  
“He’s joking with that comment, isn’t he? I’m in the bloody twilight zone. Freddie, you’re just going to let him talk about our friend this way?” Everyone stared at Freddie for a few moments. His eyes darted in all directions and he looked as though he might explode because his brain was running so fast. Roger shook his head “you know what? I don’t have time to reason with a drunk.” It was then that Roger threw a punch to Paul’s face, causing blood to gush from his nose almost immediately. Nobody even tried to stop Roger as he threw another punch. And another. And another. And another. Still, no one moved. Probably because all of them had wanted to punch Paul at one point or another. But also because they were all still trying to comprehend Paul’s last comment.  
"If you even say her name ever again... I will end you. Do you get that?" Paul was limp on the ground, the whole party staring as Roger continued to whale on him. Roger finally pulled back, breathing hard as he stared at what his violent behavior had caused. Paul was borderline unconscious.  
Dominique finally grabbed her husband’s arm again, pulling him away and they headed out the front door without saying goodbye. Brian and Chrissie followed them. John’s arm was linked with Veronica’s when he stopped to speak to Freddie.  
“I hope you know that I want to punch you about as much as I want to punch him." John looked at the floor where Paul still laid. "I hope you see the mess he’s helped you make of your life.” John continued as he gestured around the wild party, which had already started up again. No one had bothered to check on Paul. As if on cue, something could be heard crashing to the floor, likely breaking. “And I hope you realize that you should have been the one to whale on your boyfriend when he said what he said about my cousin. Who’s been nothing but a good friend to you.” Deaky finished. He looked hurt above all else as he turned and followed his friends out the door. John never thought that Freddie would be the person he truly got bold with. It was rare. It wasn’t in John’s nature. Only when he felt something was truly wrong did he reprimand people like this. Something was definitely wrong though.  
Freddie was shocked by John’s words. He’d never given John a reason to act as out of character as he did right then. Freddie was confused and lost. The only person who’d ever knowingly helped him out of such a confusing spot in life was Cara, when she’d accepted him even though he didn’t accept himself all those years ago. And he couldn’t even bring himself to defend her. Something had to give. Freddie knew it. But it’d take time for him to truly realize what- or rather who- needed to go.


End file.
